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Suburban Hell on Wheels

by Worthington's Law

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1.
I’m goin’ on a walk I’m goin’ on a walk I’m goin’ on a walk I’m goin’ on a walk I gotta dog, dog I gotta baby, baby Suburban Hell on Wheels, canned fasciitis in my heels So fuckin’ move already! I didn’t get to take a lunch today And now you want me to do what? I’m goin’ on a walk I’m goin’ on a walk I’m goin’ on a walk I’m goin’ on a walk I got my podcast on I’m crushin’ memory foam I hide behind mirrored shades, and my kid’s got it made We brought the iPad along I got a one-hitter in my pocket, man It’s daddy’s time to shine! I’m goin’ on a walk I’m goin’ on a walk I’m goin’ on a walk I’m goin’ on a walk MOSH PART You know, this is the one time of day I get to myself I take thirty minutes, that’s all I ask for, thirty minutes But sometimes, it takes me ten minutes just to get out the door! Cuz even my walk, even my own walk is not my own I take the kid on the walk I take the dog on the walk I take the kid’s stuff on the walk I take the dog’s stuff on the walk Gotta find my airpods for the walk Gotta download podcasts for the walk Lars Frederikson on Turned Out a Punk It’ll take eight walks just to hear it all! But I got a one-hitter in my pocket, man It’s daddy’s time to shine! I’m goin’ on a walk (I don’t wanna see my neighbors I’m goin’ on a walk (I just wanna be alone) I’m goin’ on a walk (I might not get very far now) I’m goin’ on a walk (But at least I’m gettin stoned)
2.
Gasparilla 02:44
INTRO D D C C I’m not even here, cause in my head, I’m in sunny FLA D D C C Thinking of the fun I’m gonna have when I get to Tampa Bay VERSE 1 D D Well I’m not going to St. Pete C C But I hear it’s freakin’ sweet D D C C They got that cool Dali museum D D And I’m not going to Clearwater C C Though I hear I really oughta D D C C Grouper sandwiches so big you won’t believe em PRE-CHORUS 1 G G I’m going down to the pirate parade A A Gonna watch the Krewe invade! CHORUS D G A D Oooh, Gasparilla D G A D I’m not ready to go home D G A D Ooooh, Gasparilla D G A D I came here by myself, but I’m not alone G G A A No one is alone at Gasparilla VERSE 2 D D I show up at 9 with a fresh cigar C C And a cooler that rolls behind me D D C C If catching beads were a contest, I’d probably be the winner D D But I still don’t know where the people go C C At night when the parade’s over D D C C I always pass out before dinner PRE-CHORUS 2 G G January’s getting hot this year A A So grab a lukewarm beer! CHORUS D G A D Oooh, Gasparilla D G A D I’m not ready to go home D G A D Ooooh, Gasparilla D G A D I came here by myself, but I’m not alone G G A A Everyone’s got a home at Gasparilla VERSE 3 D D I don’t fit it in at home C C So I take that flight alone D D C C And Touchdown in a place where they accept me D D And I got nothing to lose C C So I applied to join several krewes D D C C There’s no way they’ll all reject me CHORUS D G A D Oooh, Gasparilla D G A D I’m not ready to go home D G A D Ooooh, Gasparilla D G A D I came here by myself, but I’m not alone
3.
At 22 I could drink like a fuckin’ fish But now two beers make me a sleepy son of a bitch I got too much shit to do and that I wanna get done So I found the right solution to make my life more fun CHORUS 1 (18 bars) Hyper and High Hyper and High Hyper and High I don’t wanna get drunk, I just wanna get Hyper and High Hyper and High Hyper and High Caffeine and weed until I die VERSE 2 (16 bars) 41 years old hangin with my bro Video games and punk rock radio Super stoned, but I’m not sleepy, see? Cause Vinny hooked me up with a big-ass can of tea CHORUS 2 (18 bars) Hyper and High Hyper and High Hyper and High I don’t wanna get drunk, I just wanna get Hyper and High Hyper and High Hyper and High Caffeine and weed until I... Die BRIDGE (22 bars) I wake up before 6am I gotta get my me time in Coffee waiting freshly brewed Time to elevate my mood I turn that cosmic energy Into productivity Teas and tinctures work for me I’ll even vape some CBD INTRO 2 (8 Bars) CHORUS 3 (28 bars) Hyper and High Hyper and High Hyper and High I don’t wanna get drunk, I just wanna get Hyper and High Hyper and High Hyper and High I don’t wanna get drunk, I just wanna get Hyper and High Hyper and High Hyper and High Caffeine and weed until I die
4.
I'm Bored 01:47
My family ain’t home And I’m all alone But I can’t stop staring at my phone Cause I’m bored Yeah, I’m bored Bored of True crime Documentaries Bored of watching cartoons on dvd I’m bored So bored CHORUS I’m bored (He’s bored) I’m bored (He’s bored) I’m bored (He’s bored) I’m bored VERSE 2 I ought to play guitar but I broke a string And I’m too bored to learn How to fix that thing So I’m bored Really bored I was kinda looking forward To a little time with me But I’m even getting bored of pornography I’m so bored I’m so bored VERSE 3 I turn on cable news Cause I like to vent But I got a boring president.
5.
Spouseage 00:32
I'm in the kitchen! I'm in the bedroom! I'm in the living room! I'm in the garage! What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? Don't talk to me when I'm in the other room! Don't talk to me when I'm in the other room! Don't talk to me when I'm in the other room! I don't talk to you when I'm in the other room!

about

Five songs for the modern punk rock dad.

credits

released July 9, 2021

Recorded at the Sandwich Shoppe in Oxford, NC on January 2, March 27, and June 12, 2021.

Produced by Scotty Sandwich and Nick Faber

Scotty Sandwich: Guitars, Bass, and Backing Vocals on #5
Vinny Daraio: Drums and Backing Vocals
Jonny Clousson: Backing Vocals on #5
Nick Faber: Vocals

Recorded, Mixed, and Mastered by Scotty Sandwich
All Songs Written by Nick Faber
Art by Jim Barnes

Innumerable thanks to Scotty, Vinny, Dave, and Janie. Couldn't have done it without any one of you.

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Worthington's Law Durham, North Carolina

A supposedly funny punk band in Durham, NC.

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