1. |
Son of a Teacher
02:02
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He always dreamed he’d be on SNL
She always thought he’d find his way to Hell
If he chose his own direction
She said to pray for what he wanted
So his development was stunted
Just waiting for directions
from some old dude up in heaven
He was the son of a teacher
But he never learned shit from her
He had to learn to love himself
She said that there is danger in the world
She cried when he brought home a Catholic girl
Cuz that’s how the devil gets ya
He said “I’d rather roll with Satan’s crew
Than wait around for miracles with you
He drove off in his LeBaron
He was the son of a teacher
But he never learned shit from her
He had to learn to love himself
He hated who he grew to be
Until he got some therapy
He got the nerve to take an improv class
He was the son of a teacher
But he never learned shit from her
He had to learn to love himself
He just had to learn to love himself
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2. |
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Come! Come!
I should’ve given more context, man
When I went up to Joe
And asked him if he likes Circle Jerks
And he just said, um… no
No one wants to come
No one wants to come
No one wants to come
I probably could’ve been more specific
When I asked my pal Steve
If he ever got into Group Sex
Or is it new to him like me
No one wants to come
No one wants to come
No one wants to come
With me to see…
The Circle Jerks!
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3. |
In Love With a Nun
01:57
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I’ve been going to the abbey for 47 years
I always show up with hope and drive away in tears
I know she’s crying too but what else can I do?
I'm in love with a nun
Back when were younger she refused to wear my ring
Then she invited me to watch her wed the King of Kings!
I won’t let her forget me in case she ever leaves
I’ll be waiting for my nun
We meet in the garden alone
I walk straight past confessional
And when she holds my hand I know
I’d rather go to hell than to the friend zone
With a nun
Cross your heart and pray that you don’t fall in love
With a nun
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4. |
La Cosa Nova
01:41
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Blast off for Pizza!
Blast off for Pizza!
Blast off! Blast off!
Blast off for Pizza!
When you’re blasting into orbit and you wanna stuff your face
With the freshest freakin’ pasta you can find in outer space
Dinner is made and so are we
(we…)
At La Cosa Nova
We make a margherita pizza with a lunar twist
And a Martian manicotti Sir Richard Branson can’t resist
For dessert, we make an interstellar tiramisu
And offer you can’t refuse
At La Cosa Nova
And be nice to the guys
in the Armani spacesuits
Or they’ll send you back to earth
in concrete boots
When you’re at La Cosa Nova you’re with family
Free rocket parking in the back
Our ingredients are freshly whacked…
At La Cosa Nova
Blast off for Pizza!
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5. |
Religious Exemption
02:08
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There is a lady I know
She says she’s saved but even so
She is afraid of everything
When the shit started going down
Instead of stepping up or helping out,
She withdrew from society
Religious Exemption
Denying the science
Heading for heaven
Nowhere in the Lord’s Prayer
Does it say anything
About Me, Myself and I
But she declined the opportunity To care for her community
She acted with impunity as if she had immunity
and only suckers die
Religious Exemption
Denying the science
Heading for heaven
And Jesus Christ, what happened to compassion?
How can you just pretend this shit’s not happening
Since when is Christianity all about me me me me me?
Religious Exemption
Denying the science
Heading for heaven
Denying the science
Heading for heaven
(She was afraid of everything)
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6. |
Everybody's Gonna Croak
03:07
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Everybody's gonna croak
Everybody's gonna croak
You’re running out of time to be happy with your life
So let your hang ups go before you croak
Napoleon was just a man, at the end of his life, he died alone
Buzz Aldrin went to space but he still lifted his face before he croaked
When king tut sides he was only 19
How do you think that boy enjoyed his fame?
Think of any great historical figure I’ll bet ya they croaked
How much status do ya need to feel like you have succeeded? What a joke!
All your power dies when you do and the things you care about will decompose
Not to be a hippy but come on
It’s time to show some love and get some in return
Because You can’t control your image after you croak
Everybody's gonna croak
Everybody's gonna croak
You’re running out of time to feel something good inside
So learn to love yourself before you croak
Unless you do something for someone else
No one will remember your name
Why build your life around appearances
When you’re just getting older every day?
You and me and everyone
We’re gonna croak so have some fun
Presidents and magnates too
They all croak and so will you!
Everybody's gonna croak
Everybody's gonna croak
You, me, everyone we know
Not sure how we got here but we all gotta go
So baby let’s rock like we’re gonna croak any day
We’re gonna party till we croak in the USA today
Everybody’s croakin’ in the USA
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Worthington's Law Durham, North Carolina
A supposedly funny punk band in Durham, NC.
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